wake up. got outta bed. dragged a comb across my head.

I am in dire need of something early.

my dog has been waking me up with either his snoring, restlessness, need to pee, or body heat for about two weeks now.. and it's always at an uncomfortable early. the kind of early where you could accept the fact that you are awake and do something good for yourself (like a workout of some sort) or continue to lay there awake with eyes closed for the next couple of hours.
I tend to chose the later.
so screw it. I will accept his invitation to be awake tomorrow and do something with it.

my husband and I are leaving for LA in a couple of days for the LA film festival. we are really looking forward to laying out at the pool at the W with cocktails in hand... not to mention our dinner at Michael Mina's XIV Saturday night. where else can you find a $110 Japanese A5 Strip Loin on the menu?

in other news...
...water does not make me feel full. people who say that it will are bonkers.
...finding hidden music on my pc that I thought did not successfully download months ago is.. AAWWESOME
...late night snacking has been kicked in the budd.. by me.
...mid-day snacking has yet to be rid of.

easy does it

my EASY button has been overworked recently.

it isn't a real EASY button... but rather a homemade one - which makes it more special - made from a push button light. as much as I keep turning it on and off, on and off, on and off, nothing gets easier. in fact, I get a little thumb cramp so I guess that makes things harder.

the screening in San Francisco last night for my crew's film Discmen was optimistic! people laughed evenly throughout the entire 6 minutes of which I found myself slightly sweaty with heart racing. but at least they enjoyed themselves.

my photo shoots for the month of June are coming to an end... I have one more next week that involves a long drive, delicious food and some wine. but the two I had deadlines for are now complete and done! the new investment in the 85mm lens is treating me well thus far. I couldn't be happier with the clarity and the blur it provided me for the family shots I took this past weekend. it was a great location accompanied by a happy baby!

in other news...
...I am still overdue for a shower. please keep your distance.
...San Francisco smells of urine. ew.
...why is it so hard to just say no to coffee???

I believe anyone can change

don't you hate being overdue for a shower? I find it creates a very uncomfortable feeling. even if you are just slightly overdue - overdue is overdue. I still feel like a homeless bum that happens to be wearing decent clothing.

in just a couple of hours, my husband, some friends, and I will all be in San Francisco viewing our most recent short film on the big screen. and for the first time since beginning our masterpiece, I am flippin' nervous. after several 'mini' screenings amongst coworkers, friends, and family all was well.. until just a couple of days ago when I found myself sitting with aunt and uncle nearby, as they sat quietly wearing confused smiles... confused smiles that said "I don't get this, but I'm going to support my niece in everything she does no matter how odd or strange".
sigh.

wish us luck!!

busy bee

despite how much today feels like Monday, it is Thursday. I guess that is a good, as well as a bad thing.

summer seems to be officially beginning for a majority of the people I know. of course, the majority of the people I know all work within the school system so we define our summers just a little differently. I am excited about the few weekend trips my husband and I have heading our way but Monday through Friday our lives remain the same.

our most recent outing to Big Sur was amazing! a little cloudy yes, but Big Sur is a coastal park - not cloudy would have meant something drastically wrong. the Riverside cabin we stayed in was intimate and adorable... the Big Sur Bakery & Restaurant was all the homey-hippiness I wished for plus the happiness of a Belgium beer offering. now that just can't be beat!

our 9 mile Andrew Molera loop hike was astounding. the evolution from ugly trail, to river crossing, to beach rocks, to wildflower galore, to overgrown wildflower galore, to something resembling Haleakala in Maui, to the most amazing vista looking both north and south down the coast... w o w.

I could have done without the rattlesnake cameo... as well as that tick that had me in a death grip but... minor details.

Mountain View will be graced with my presence tomorrow - I will be running to Chez TJ to capture one last photo to add to the American Liver Foundation collection that I am currently busying myself with and then that project will be complete.

with another shoot scheduled on Saturday, I will have a lot of photo work ahead of me!
bring it.

in other news...
...48 hr film project in San Francisco has been conquered! I belong to Pink Umbrella Pictures and our film will be screened at the Roxie Monday, June 15th at 7pm.
...to runbikerun or not to runbikerun? I lean to runbikerun.
...do you have a goal for this summer? tell me about it...

don't think. know.

how do 3 weeks go by in a blink of an eye? that just doesn't seem right.

every evening I fight the departure of the sun... seems like before I know it, it is midnight and I need sleep. yet when someone asks me how my day was, or what I did last week, I would tell you it was dull. it was boring. and I don't remember it.

breathe.

in a couple of minutes I will be off to the gym at work.. the toughest part of my day aside from dragging my tired ass out of bed this morning. yummy burgers for dinner with my husband... and then a whirlwind of a weekend involving photo prep, winery adventure, San Francisco graduation, film meeting, birthday party, Berkeley concert. I am tired already. I hope to fit in some couch-sitting with a bottle (yes bottle) of wine... or pool-dipping with a mojito disguised as water so I don't get kicked out.

one can only hope.

in other news...

...Kris Allen. really? I bet he becomes good friends with John Mayer, Ben Harper, Jack Johnson, Jacob Dylan.. or any other artist who he sounds like.

...too much leg press weight + too many repetitions = back and spine bruises with an unrelated but inevitable fear of getting older.

...hellooo... I'm Cat Deiley.. and this is... so you THINK you can dance!!

eyes and minds

dream tracking entry #1

an old friend from grade school - who I have not seen since running in to her at the gym 2.5 years ago - was showing me her route to get home in some foreign place. it involved a train and a bus and I was thoroughly enjoying the adventure and catching up with such a pleasant person from my past.

in the midst of switching from train to bus I saw another friend... one that I no longer speak to. as we stood at the same bus stop avoiding one another from 10 ft away, my anger at her built up and, after short deliberation, I convinced myself that she deserved to hear me. so I whipped around and stood in front of the small patient bus crowd and said...

I was a genuine friend.. anything for you I would have done

I cried with you, celebrated with you, did nothing and everything with you

and in return you walked away.

in return, you said no.

in return, you said sorry.

in return, you acted like you never knew me.

and as the small patient bus crowd accepted me with surprisingly sane eyes and understanding minds, she turned around and walked away like she never knew me. I watched her get smaller and smaller all the while making excuses in my mind... maybe she just realized she missed her bus. maybe she's thirsty and is walking to a cafe. maaaaybeeee she was never there.

in other news...

...4 cups of coffee should fix this restless sleeping and dreaming problem

...oooh why not make it 5

...ok. time to reorganize the entire house

...oh heck, why not build a new one

...oh look, my running shoes! let me go on a quick run

...work work work, laundry, rose pruning, wall washing

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

6 packs in 4 places

Big Sur.

Los Angeles.

Las Vegas.

Lake Tahoe.

all 4 in less than 3 months. which I initially thought sounded like much less time than what it reads as. nonetheless, an exciting 3 months. an anniversary, a film festival, a bachelorette, and a wedding.

sounds like a summer blockbuster.

only better.

in between the flying and driving, I am looking forward to the cycling. it has been a long time since I hit the trails and roads instead of the gym and frankly, I am a little scared to leave my routine. at the gym I know I can run, leg press, single leg squat, wall sit, ab crunch, and butt blast my way through 60 minutes non-stop and be sore for days. those machines and tools have my body groves engraved in them somewhere...

but the trails and the roads? they can promise me only one kind of workout. can I be mentally satisfied with this? only one way to find out.

in other news...

...So You Think You Can Dance? bring it on.

...6 pack 6 pack 6 pack 6 pack. maybe with enough focus it will happen.

...does anyone remember when Biggest Loser contestants were HAPPY with losing weight even if they didn't win? sigh.