are there sharks in this ocean?

Kathleen's Redonkulously* Unintelligable* Observations and Hypothesis' continued...

I really wonder if under every seat on a plane, there is a life vest.

sure - they say there is. they demonstrate how to use it... put your head through HERE, pull THESE, blow HERE, have a note on the ceiling reminding me of where it is (you know, for when I panic while crashing over the Pacific and I look up to pray and see LIFE VEST UNDER YOUR SEAT), and a wonderfully colorful comic instruction showing mom, dad, child, and infant having a gay ol' time putting them on (it's either that or these instructions are for how to do the hokey pokey - it's hard to tell).

the point is, every airline appears to have invested decent $ in to convincing us of a water-landing survival thanks to these magical life vests (with water-activated light even - so I can see the sharks better). but we all know deep-down that unless you're on a TV show spanning 6 seasons on ABC with Matthew Fox that life vest will be as useful as that space pen you bought from Brookstone. so after spending all that money on the instructions, cartoons, and demonstrations I suspect there was nothing left over in the bank to actually purchase the vests themselves.

in other news...
...next week? the secret behind pretzels and peanuts and why all airlines insist on keeping their popularity afloat.
...week after that? something about football and most likely an explanation of why I like Mark Sanchez despite my disdain and Strong to Quite Strong dislike for Rex f*cking Ryan.
...and then after that? what do you think this is - a 10 day weather forecast? now finish your peanuts and iron your t-shirt - it's going to be 87 degrees in Cupertino.

* not a word
* also not a word