winner winner Christmas dinner

Christmas is done. and I am relieved. I can finally go to the gym. with my oh so lovely in-laws visiting for the past 5 nights, the most exercise I got involved pouring glasses of wine. so now I get to go back to the 'real deal'.. and with my fancy new Creative Zen mp3 player as well. goodbye iPod! you treated me like a piece of crap so farewell to you. now I have Zen. adding music is easy. adding photos is easy. and when my workout is hard, I want an easy player to help me through it.

anyway, I hope everyone had a most excellent last holiday of 2008. my highlight among several highlights would be the Christmas Dinner that I wrote, directed, produced, and starred in.

Warm Leek and Goat Cheese dip served with crackers and bell peppers. leeks sauteed in butter, salt and pepper with goat cheese and cream cheese stirred in later and thrown in the oven to get that pretty toasty look. goat cheese haters became lovers!

Beef Tenderloin marinated in balsamic vinegar, dijon mustard, garlic, fresh rosemary, thyme, and parsley for 4 hours and then roasted to juicy perfection (I even offered Medium to Well done to all of my guests - the smart ones take the Medium).

Homemade Cranberry sauce.. cranberries, orange marmalade, cinnamon sticks, and sugar. a crowd favorite for years now.

Green Beans with Pecans. a recipe I picked out for my mom to make. steamed green beans that are later tossed with salt, pepper, EVOO, and toasted pecans. yumm-O!

Standard Salad which I also picked for my mom to make. an array of salad ingredients served with a homemade italian dressing made with a lemon infused EVOO that is to die for.

Mashed Potatoes. made it up. milk, butter, rosemary, thyme, salt and pepper. nothing extravagant.

Buns brought to you by Pillsbury.

Mixed Berry and Pear Cobbler. black, straw, blue, and raspberries tossed with pear chunks in lemon juice and flour with a rolled oats, butter, flour, and sugar mixture sprinkled on top. golden brown out of the oven! served hot with vanilla bean ice cream.

everyone was happy and full and my beef tenderloin is rapidly becoming as famous as my recipe for the thanksgiving turkey which is going strong for 4 years now.
another highlight of my Christmas? seeing how much my husband enjoys the ginormous ping pong table I got him that now takes my car's spot in the garage.

in other news...
...6lbs of tenderloin for 6 people is far too much. even with 3 days of leftovers-are-whats-for-dinner.
...27 year old's can shop at Forever 21. it's ok.
...27 year old's can read the Twilight series. it's ok.


peace.... out!

well Thanksgiving came and went like a batch of hot gooey chocolate chip cookies. I think I consumed the least amount of food, as well as the least amount of fat, that I ever have on every other Thanksgiving I have celebrated. maybe that's why it didn't feel like Thanksgiving at all.
but the break did not completely pass without indulgence. Bittersweet Bistro anyone? it's fabulous. and very much recommended.

back to Thanksgiving though... we did our new Thanksgiving morning tradition that involves tennis shoes and a bib. the Turkey Trot! Nick, myself, and Mitch got our butts out of bed early to go run a 5k together. after fighting for personal space for 3.1 miles Mitch and I had lost my husband. we proceeded to stock up on free bananas, athletic store coupons, and mud on the bottom of our shoes before wondering if Nick had passed out and been trampled on in the race when THERE HE IS! he crosses the finish... and we discover he has accidentally run the 10k. i know what you're thinking and let me just say, he wasn't the only one. but how hysterical is it, that one can accidentally run TWICE as far as what one sets out to run... and after FIVE MONTHS of zero cardio.
ah. good times.

in other news...
...vodka should be stored in the freezer. not in the bottom cabinet with an open cap and a Thrify tag that reads $8.99 from 1984.
...if you are at a Whole Foods and find an Annie's Salad Dressing: Woodstock flavor, please report back to me as this is my most favorite dressing in the entire world and I can no longer find it.
...my Christmas tree may have been donated by my parents and may be the tree I grew up with, it may be fake, the same height as me and prickly, it may coated with dust and cat hair that makes Nick sneeze, it may be all bent up and require straightening, it may have so many holes that you can see more wall on the other side than tree, it may make Nick think that I grew up with a ghetto tree.. but I opened my Sega Genesis under it in 1993, my blue leather beanbag seat in 1994, rollerblades, underwear, rechargeable batteries, a sweater with black leather cats on it, New Kids on the Block Christmas CD, and a pair of fuzzy pinks socks that helped me fly down the hardwood hallway with Endust. it is my tree. consider it peed on. by me.


spendin' money

the night finally came. and then went. the night I had been saving up money for, for months. making my own lunch. not making any large purchases. not going out to dinner. and all for what? a joke of a shopping-spree-night-with-girlfriends that got me 2 shirts which cost a whopping $27 total that I need to return and one pair of The Limited pants that were 40% off anyway.

what the hell.

I guess all that money will just go to Christmas gifts. such greed.

today was also an exciting day... only it was an exciting day with a good ending. my trip to Cost Plus yielded two chair cushions for tender butts and a large tin full of.... GINGER SNAPS! that's right. the larger than life, never empty, red tin of the thinnest ginger snaps ever have now made it in to our living space. the official welcome for the holidays. all we need now, is Sierra Nevada Celebration Ale. mmmm.

in other news...
...fake plants may be expensive but hey, they are immortal. how can we even put a price on that?
...taking a shower is overrated. it should take me.
...Ginger Pumpkin Cheesecake. I'll get back to you on that after Thursday.


sweet potato me

one more week.. before family, friends, and turkeys make their way to the table. what's YOUR favorite dish?
I have to go with sweet potatoes and candied yams - east coast style. it is so dangerous I no longer make it. if you're in to danger, ask me for the recipe.

another portrait session is done and over with. while they are happy with the photos I of course have my list of things-I-need-to-work-on. these will be typed, printed, laminated, and stapled to my subjects foreheads in order for me to remember (photoshopped out later of course).

I have another family and a couple + dog in the near future. I am so excited for both of them but not so excited about the upcoming weather that may be a detriment... or a rare opportunity??

in other news...
...the PERMANENT PRESS setting on the washing machine does not get rid of dog fur.
...never ever EVER sit on the benches in a locker room. you wouldn't believe all the naked butts that have touched it before your clothed one.
...snoop dogg and martha stewart are friends. fo shizzle.



Monday began with me ordering a sall toy latte. but I ended up getting a tall soy latte. what were they thinking.

Sunol Wilderness was the hiking location of choice this past weekend. after climbing uphill for 1.5 miles we enjoyed views of mountains, vultures, and bull testees. that's right. bulls, cows, and calves decorated the downhill of the mountain. Nick reminded us to run in circles if they decided to attack... "thats what rodeo clowns do and they seem to be ok most of the time". I, however, knew I would be ok - all I had to do was stay away from the guy wearing the bright red shirt (that would be Nick).
after surviving the run in with the bulls, I charged my battery and mentally prepared myself to make my parents look like they were in love again.
in other news...
...'salads' from Chipotle are not salads. and I am never having one again.
...it is possible for food to fall from one's mouth and in to one's shoe.. while it's on one's foot.
...if you have lost your favorite brown tight long-sleeved shirt, check under your bed. because that's where they go.
...how does a photo turn out while trying to take one of a scarey bull without making eye contact?


brain rot

word of the week?
I have found myself either running outdoors or sweating in the gym 5 days this week. thinking I might have endometriosis? 2 days. singing Justin Timberlake in my head? 4 days. up way too late? 4 days. snoozing my alarm 5 times in a row? 4 days. forgetting where I am going while driving? every day of my life.

in spite of it all I have managed to end up with some happy products of my lunacy. a family portrait session with a friend and a buddy needing photos of his personal training sessions for his up and coming website have kept the left side of my brain occupied while my right side just.. well, rots.

in other news...
...owning a dog that needs to take a shit at 2am is very inconvenient.
...if one goes to a high school football game to feel like one is young again, remember to not wear a sweatshirt that says STATE CUP SOCCER 1996.
...I knew Madonna wasn't British.



this week's reward same as next week's

8 miles of running and an hour's worth of cycling is what I've put up for this week. it is deceiving how a little distance every day can actually add up to something that sounds decent. at least for me.

all the weight on that leg press I lifted this week as well as all those single leg squats made my run yesterday a little difficult. I was expecting my left bum to explode in to a hernia at any moment. but I ended up surviving. I need to remember that. no matter how hard things may feel, I'm going to live through it.

so tonight is a night of leisure. it will involve a trip to pick up a bottle of Chimay Grand Reserve, as well as the TOP PICKS music channel on Direct TV, and dance moves. I recommend everyone take this combination at least once a month.

in other news...
...annoying people are less annoying the further away they are.
...Kids who have lived on the same Block for 15 years are no longer New.
...my dog loves me AND my dance moves. and that's all that matters.



yesterday a woman on a run in Prescott AZ was attacked by a rabid fox that decided to latch on to her arm and camp out for a while. 'a while' being the mile distance between her and her car - which she ran to with her new decorative accessory in tow.
after prying it off of her arm, she tossed it in her trunk and drove to the hospital. they were able to test the fox to show it was in fact rabid and then proceed to give the woman the proper medical care.

while I am now re-thinking my outdoor adventure runs at the local natural preserve, I also am in awe at the stupidity level of the animal control officer who, when told there was a crazy and possible rabid fox in the trunk of the car, opened the trunk and also was attacked.

um, preventative measure maybe?

in other news...
...I am all for letting animals stretch before I eat them but, come on. marriage between all sorts of couples is a bigger right to fight for than that.
...oh boy o bama.
...running shorts are so much shorter when everyone else is wearing pants.


pants? CHECK

sometimes I leave the bathroom at work feeling like I forgot to put my pants back on despite the fact I never took them off in the first place. but nonetheless, the first 20 foot walk out of the bathroom back to my desk feels like an OH SHIT I FORGOT MY PANTS kind of walk.
just another something to get used to I guess.

I ventured outside today for my first solo, outdoor, rainy, new neighborhood run. I would also consider it another SCREW THIS WATCH run as well as a IS THAT POOP OR A WET LEAF? run. my brain couldn't stop calculating where to go next, which side of the street was safer, which streets were better lit, and how long would it take my husband to find my body if something happened to me right now.

don't get me wrong. our street is safe. it's the streets that aren't ours that make my heart race. but I made it home ok and my dog was anxiously waiting my return.

in other news...
...I miss Napa. and really great expensive food.
...only buy Halloween candy that you dislike. like those nasty almond joy's. because no one ever goes trick-or-treating anymore. no matter what the weather is, OR the day of the week.
...a 20lb dog is able to leave no room for a single human being on a queen size mattress if he / she so wishes.
...watching leaves break off tiny limbs and dwindle to the ground by way of wind, rain, or even simple weight is like hearing my grandma hum me a song as I fight sleep 25 years ago.


she kissed it

today my best friend turns 28 years old. ahh.. I remember when she was 11. long, red, permed hair flying down the soccer field. those were the days.

I made a comment earlier about hittin' the ice.. with skates, not butts. and because we're skating buddies, that's what we will be doing this weekend in order to celebrate her 28th year. I had a brief brilliant idea that her and I should dress up like ourselves from 1993... sharks jerseys, LEE's jeans, headbands, big dopey glasses (for me) and then skate around, maybe kiss the sharks bench in secret, and take some photos. but then I realized I have worked so hard for this highlighted hair, lasik eye surgery, and expensive looking cheap clothes that I really would like to look good and trendy whenever possible. she has grown her perm out and I KNOW has no interest in looking back.
so we will revisit our old days in new clothes and better hair.

happy birthday amy : )

in other news...
...today deserves to be beaten with a large wooden bat. and then a chain saw. and then one of those weed wacker things the grim reaper holds. and then a pumpkin carver. and then a hammer.
...it may appear to be the season requiring a very large wool jacket but alas, it is not. yet.
...frozen pacific cod is better off being used as a stinky paper weight rather than a meal. ick.


sweat a pint and call me in the morning

being tired 6 days in a row makes one grumpy and delusional.

finally getting a good night's sleep last night however, allowed me to wake up early this morning with much less eyeball and head pain. this is good : ) drove to a local trail with some friends and took off on a hike that started off easy.. until I announced "wow, this is eeeeasy!" then we turned the corner to find layers and layers of switch-backs up the side of a mountain. oops.
every time I thought we were almost at the top, we weren't. it was a very sweaty and 'can't speak' hike. but oh so wonderful. after the switch-backs, the hike opened up to be tree-free and full of vistas. some hills here and there but for the most part we were headed down...
with the exception of the scattered berry-filled deer droppings and stacks of horse poop on the trail, this is my favorite hike. the views are superb, and you can feel like you're in the middle of nowhere... with no buildings in sight.

remedy for sleep deprived, grumpy, delusional people?
a 6 mile hike in solitude.


ball wacking

it has been an odd couple of days. thank goodness for The Moon is Down. with it, I can keep my peace.

tennis has been my most recent addition in sports exploration. I should stick to soccer to say the least but new experiences make me laugh at myself. and laugh hard. and that's a most excellent set of muscles to work.
in the middle of my tennis rally with my running buddy, I decided to punish myself every time I hit the ball in the net by doing 5 pushups. the good thing about this was that the more tired I got, the more accurate I was wacking my balls. (heh) the bad thing about this was that I got tired.
seems like a fair trade-off.

in other news...
...camels sleep 2 out of every 24 hours. it's true.
...there is a science to tennis balls and their ball firmness and ball fuzziness.
...one should not run with eyes closed on a treadmill.. even IF someone on television does it.
...someone always sees you trip.. even if you can't see them.


the soup nazi

I slept like a rock last night. which helped a lot when I got up early this morning to meet up with my hiking buddies. we tackled Quicksilver today.. no problems there. it was an easy hike.. pleasant with brief 1 minute interludes of 'huffy puffy'. fortunately for me, but unfortunately for my buds, I decided to talk a lot to make it more difficult. heh.
if you haven't woken up early on a Sunday to drive around looking for a hike and think you're lost even though you have your GPS but it isn't working because of all the trees and then you eventually find the entrance and you get out and find your camel back has a hole and has leaked in the back of your car, then you should try it some time.
there is just nothing that beats getting outside and smelling eucalyptus air and finding tarantulas and deer and wild turkeys and making it to the top without realizing it and being rewarded with a view of the valley. and the earlier you get out there, the more crisp the air is. ahhh... no words.

what I do have words for is the soup I made today... not to be confused with the one I made YESTERDAY. no see, this is a very different soup with a tomato base.

Today Soup (not the same as Yesterday Soup)
leeks / bok choy / green onions all chopped
olive oil / salt / pepper
Saute above ingredients until soft. Add the following:
Diced tomatoes in rich juice (can)
16oz chicken broth (reduced sodium)
carrot chopped
fresh sorrel fresh basil / garlic salt / italian herbs / pepper
Saute until carrots are soft.
while I was making this, my husband said 'smells good'. but after all the ingredients had been sauteeing for a lengthy amount of time, he said 'smells like tomato sauce!!' with a much excited look on his face. that's when I announced NOW I'M DONE.

in other news...
...how high can tarantulas jump? need to look this up as a precaution for the next hike
...RAID for ants also works on yellow jackets
...Nick is no longer allowed to make his salsa as he just keeps making it hotter and hotter every time
...Romeo has a sun-bathing cat gene in him somewhere


D licious Saturday

today is my day to relax. I slept in, cleaned house, went shopping (bought nothing), went grocery shopping (bought a ton), and am now making a soup that smells D licious.

D licious soup
olive oil / salt pepper
3 leeks (chopped)
1 bok choy (chopped)
green onion (chopped)
fresh basil sprigs
Saute ingredients above until soft. Then add the following:
1lb yellow potatoes (1" cubes)
16oz chicken broth (I used reduced sodium)
10oz water
carrot (1" cubes)
Saute with lid on until potatoes / carrots are soft. Pull potatoes / carrots / greens (anything chunky) out of pot and in to food processor. Process until no longer chunky. Plop in to different bowl that can be refridgerated. Mix with some sour cream (add and stir in plop by plop to taste). Refridgerate until chilled! Add lemon to taste.
so much yum.

so that is what I have been making and I cannot wait to sit down with an entire bowl-ful. in the meantime I decided to sit down with a glass of BIG HOUSE RED... which is entirely tasteful and amazing. I was not expecting such happiness from a single glass - let alone the first one. mmmm.

in other news...
...taking an 8 month break from a video game like say.. RockBand for example.. will actually make you BETTER. but it will still keep you up at night.
...tight pants are only positive if you BOUGHT them tight.
...one should never talk LOUD when talking about VIAGRA because everyone else in the sushi restaurant will hear you say "VIAGRA" in the middle of your story and then assume you are taking it even though you might just be saying "I think that VIAGRA commercial with the men having band practice in the garage is hilarious!".
...watching Extra on TV for more than 10 minutes is like feeding my brain to maggots.


peeing in the woods

my entire afternoon was full of stress. before I knew it, my running pal was in the parking lot waiting for me to come out and play. my afternoon had flown by and I was left with sore temples from all the gum-chewing I was doing to try and make myself feel more at ease.
I word-vomited in the car the entire way to our running destination before I realized I was out of breath from talking so much and apologized to my poor friend.. who was quietly giggling at my stories. sigh. word-vomiting (not to be confused with actual vomiting) makes one feel so much better (although I guess actual vomiting can make one feel better as well, but not till after).

anyway, my Two Small Farms friend (ms. marisa) recommended an excellent sounding soup that will utilize not only the sorrel I'm getting tomorrow but also my leeks.. which is a plus + plus. I think I might just minus the peas though... and the puree step.. and turn it in to more of a veggie / potatoe thing. yum.

in other news...
...while others might have a need for speed, I have a need for cheese.
...the new coach of the san jose sharks looks so much like my friend from college, Shad Stack, who is not a porn star as his name might suggest
...I miss the smell of the ice, the breeze of my speed, and the sound of my blades. let's go to Logitech
...if I do not go camping again soon, my face just might retract in to my head and my neck will disappear


goody good good

it's been a solid day.

I have hydrated, dehydrated, and rehydrated. eaten dairy, vegetables, whole grains, and fruit. and am now sitting on my couch whilst watching the tely with my stinky self. I went for a run over at Rancho San Antonio after work - and it's so wonderful compared to the gym. it makes me make the sound people make in commercials after drinking Coca Cola.

did anyone watch the debate tonight? I have an important question that I should have emailed in.
"Do you have a plan, a recipe, which uses sorrel?"
because I can't seem to find one that doesn't involve either eggs, or cream. and if you don't know what sorrel is, join the club. I had to look it up. Sorrel is a perenniel herb that is cultivated as a garden herb or leaf vegetable. and from what I have learned thus far, I can substitute it for spinach in some recipes but it should be known: sorrel has a flavor similar to kiwifruit or sour wild strawberries. it is also a laxative.

in other news...
...4:30pm is a good time to go trail running if you like the breeze the high school cross country runners create for you while passing.
...horses should not poop and trot. at the same time.
...the 'spritzer' low calorie salad dressings make better room spray deodorizers than lettuce flavorizers.
...just because it is now Autumn does not mean I need to wear sweaters. it's still hot outside. duh.


I keep an eye on them

sigh. monday.

I have come to the conclusion that my dog got drunk on Saturday night, threw up before he went to bed, and then slept off his hangover on the couch next to me. poor Romeo. well I guess that's what you get for drinking one tablespoon too much of Heineken. little four legged alcoholic.

in other news...
...bruschetta is pretty damn good and should be eaten with goat cheese.
...nothing is wrong with you after eating lots of beets. it's the beets that make your pee 'that' color.
...vitamins should come in jello cases to make it easier to swallow.
...men fart more the older they get. evidently.
...every morning I wake up and look for Russians outside my window.


Food & Wine & Twenty Nine

my husband turned 29 yesterday. happy 30-1 nicky!
I took Friday off in order to prepare for it.. running around here and there the entire day until it was time to fall asleep. then I spent my entire day yesterday in the kitchen getting ready to feed somewhere between 11 and 22 people (RSVPing is always appreciated!).

4 layer yummy dip
- 1 can vegetarian fat free refried beans
- low fat sour cream
- cheese
- tomatoes

- 2 baguettes
- olive oil, garlic salt, oregano, parsley all mixed
- parmesan shavings
- basil leaves
- tomatoes
brush baguette slices with olive oil mixture and top with a couple pieces of parmesan. broil until cheese melts and looks pretty, delicious, and pretty delicious. top with a basil leaf, and tomato slice.

italian kabobs
- fresh mozzarella
- basil leaves
- cherry tomatoes
- balsamic vinegar
kabob 1 tomato, 1 basil leaf, and 1 mozzarella block. line kabobs up on platter and sprinkle vinegar on top.

- thin chicken breasts sliced in to mouth size bits
- lime juice, olive oil, fresh parsley, fresh oregano, italian herbs, garlic all mixed for marinade
marinate chicken for up to 8 hours. can throw on kabobs or just pan fry.

- make husband do the sausage

strawberries and dip
- phone a friend

cut up bell peppers with hummus
- self explanatory

veggie platter
- phone another friend

chips and salsa
- make husband make the salsa

burnt almond cake
- la patisserie

pigs in a blanket
- friend's surprise contribution!

after doing all that, saying "you're 2 years older than me now!" to my husband and several glasses of wine is my reward. happy birthday nick. 364 days till 30.


vodka tonic me!

what's the difference between today and every other day?

I.. did not.. have..
coffee. rather than take the long walk to grab a soy latte, I ate a Yoplait and stuck with water. and surprisingly, I have survived thus far. it may be a different story come 3pm.

some exciting news this week.. I have finally been taken off the waiting list for Two Small Farms. I pick up my bag of organic goodies this Friday and am very ecstatic about this. my bag of surprises include bok choy and beets which, I would never purchase but I already have recipes planned. we will also be receiving tomatoes and cilantro (yet another item I would never buy) but the timing is perfect as Nick will be making his zippy chipotle salsa this weekend.

in other news...
...never do cardio in cotton pants. ever.
...eating six mini musketeers from a coworkers candy bowl is the same as one whole one from the vending machine. stupid.
...Yoplait is not lactose free. I am lactose intolerant.
...wine, beer, sake, and vodka tonics do not mix.
...I am not the mayor of Burlingame as I may have exclaimed after wine, beer, sake, and vodka tonics.



today is like any other Friday. I snoozed my alarm 3 times before accepting the inevitable.
coffee, salad, and one slice of cake later and it's 4pm.

most difficult challenge of the day?
refraining myself from grasping two #2 pencils with sizable erasers, wacking everything on my desk and breaking out in song.. specifically Poor Little Rich Boy by Regina Spektor.

easiest challenge of the day?
conquering the world.


Bob Ross and me

my brain has accustomed itself to solitude. it only took my current lifetime. but I am finally ok with this.

what my brain is not accustomed to:
being put on the back burner. that's off. and very far away. on a different stove. in a different house. on another continent.
being put aside is for cold rice. not people.

in other news...
...the black widow living in our garage is D. E. A D. dead. she met my friend RAID who murdered her and her sad husband. for the sake of preventing swollen parts of human bodies, let's hope RAID killed any and all babies too.
...gardening gloves are necessary when trimming rose bushes.
...no matter how great one is at fantasy football, if you don't like it, it is just not fun (internet trophies are about as useful as a picture of a swiss army knife).
...one should not use the leg press machine with maximum weight, the calve machine, the butt blaster machine, and do single leg lunges prior to getting on the stepper.
...just because one cannot hear herself grunt due to a very loud iPod volume while working out, does not mean that no one else can hear her either.
...soy cheese on a pizza is just not as tastey as mozzarella cheese on a pizza.
...not maintaining a stylish do will not only put more money in your pocket, it will also make your head ugly.


I see the bad moon rising

my husband hasn't planned a weekend festivity for us since the day he proposed. almost 2 years ago. don't get me wrong - that was a great day that he planned.. way back then. maybe he thinks he deserves a vacation for that. maybe I just look forward to my Friday nights more than he does.
I enjoy rewards - and Friday is a reward for getting through Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. it's a reward for working out all week.. I get Friday night off. so that I can do something other than sit around and watch tv on my couch like I do every other night. so that I can put on earrings and that nice shirt I've had for a month but still haven't worn yet because we haven't done anything that requires it.

so I decided to take action. I developed a plan to change this pattern but alas, it just plain did not work. I told myself I would not propose any plans for our weekend. would not think of anything fun to do. would refrain from sharing excitement about the weekend. and I did such a good job at this.

until he tells me one of his friends wants a poker / guy night. and it's going to happen on... FRIDAY. nice. so not only am I not going out to dinner or wine or a movie or even the front lawn with him, but now I am doing the same old Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday shit solo on a Friday.
I can enjoy doing things alone but one of the joys of Friday involves a nice wine or a beer. and I refuse to go to a bar, with the clubbing young crowd, alone.

but wait a second.

hold the phone.

don't drop it like it's hot just yet.

what it do baby boo...

I see a friend's extra Creedence Clearwater Revival concert ticket at the Saratoga Mountain Winery in my future tonight. ok honey, you go toss around some cards on a small table at a sausage fest. I hope you get some good flops and rivers. I'll be rolling on the river. boo ya.


all those legs make them jump higher. and attack faster.

the moving is complete. boxes are emptied. new tv is on the way. we can sit down and enjoy the olympics without thinking of what the hell we're going to put in that extra closet. everything was honky doory. until I saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in person, crawling rampant, in my garage. good thing I have already done a ton of organizing in there because I will never go in the garage again until Nick shows me the carcass of this ginormous Lord of the Rings character that should be paying us rent money.
never again will my feet trek through there - even if I'm doing a sprint THROUGH the garage to pop out at the front yard. it is just not going to happen. Nick, of course, did not see it. the man who, when a mysterious noise sounds, he asks me "what was that?" while he remains seated. the husband who, upon being alarmed by me that there is a spider too large for me to comfortably kill without the threat of it possibly jumping on my skin, comes over and coos the spider in to his arms, and sets him free. right outside the door. so that he can step right back in whenever he so chooses. no - he did not see this creature. so of course, he is thinking I am exaggerating. but I swear, this fucker upon meeting my gaze, threw his cloak over his body and became invisible. how he got Frodo's cloak? I dare not ask. Frodo himself is probably hiding in our rafters signaling Spidey with secret baseball-like hand symbols.... "she is.. . desk room.. . go for.. . bunt. correction - right.. . cankle"
since running away from spidey and researching and writing my anxiety away, I think I may know what kind of spider it is. because google images makes us all professionals.

ok so that's not completely accurate. I am just trying to rid of any future nightmares by bringing humor to the table.

but here, in all his / her glory, is the true evil spidey (or at the least the closest google has to offer):

sweet dreams.


chocolate is for snacking

the weekend went by like a gasp of emergency air. so much, in such little time.
I have been on a mission at home that my weekend festivities played havoc with. In an effort to walk up and down stairs less, I will eat as much food as possible. how does this work? we're moving. the massive adventure begins Sunday morning and I refuse to transport bags of food in addition to the buttload of boxes that will be packed and ready to go by then. food is meant to be eaten. not moved.
and thus, I will finally finish off those boxes of frozen EATING RIGHT healthy waffles for breakfast; cans of EATING RIGHT healthy soups; bag of frozen vegetables that's been waiting for me for who knows how long. hm. I am starting to see a theme here.
maybe I should only purchase ice cream and chocolate. I always seem to go right through those.
speaking of chocolate, every coworker of mine has run out of it in their sharing bowls. and the one girl that has some, keeps the bowl in an unreachable spot. this banana I brought is looking tastier and tastier simply for the sheer enjoyment of eating something at this point. damn these afternoon munchies.


popping pills

my mom told me this afternoon "oh by the way, your dad threw up on the golf course yesterday and went to the doctor this morning".
ok. well can you give me more information than that?
my dad is a big hefty guy. he is at least 6'3 and weighs probably about 285 right now. he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 13 years ago. he is 54 years old. his dad passed away at a young age (somewhere in his 50's) and he also had diabetes, and was overweight. he had a heart attack in his sleep.
and all of that information runs through my head every time I hear about my dad having a new problem.
lately I have noticed that his medicine cabinet is accumulating pills. he's got pills for high blood pressure. pills for back pain. pills for his diabetes. pills for crap I don't even know about because my parents don't tell me. it turns out he up-chucked yesterday because of the vicodin he took for his back pain that morning..... which is caused by the extra weight which also brought on the diabetes and the high blood pressure. so now he has oxycodone for his back pain which is supposedly a super-duper killer of pain. and about a year and a half ago he stepped on a nail but didn't feel it because his feet are numb and his foot has still not fully healed from that.
what's next???


renting roots

in two weeks I will have new walls. new floors. new ceiling. new seat to pee in to.

my husband and I are finally renting a house. apartment life will officially end for us on August 8th. and I cannot wait to make a dozen fresh cookies for my neighbor. cool an apple pie on the window sill. plant a garden outside my kitchen window. hang a tennis ball from the garage ceiling.

the only communication I have experienced in my years of apartment living have been walking to the neighbors' place at 2am to tell them to turn their TV down. going downstairs to tell the chinese lady she doesn't need to scream at her son that loud as it is disturbing in both a noise level and psychotic way. and sneaking up to our neighbors above us to see if they really do have pet elephants.

my hopes are high for the 'house' people.
why hello there stranger.


any day but today

tis Monday.
sometimes a Wednesday may feel like a Tuesday. or a Friday may seem like a Thursday. but if Monday ever feels like any other day, you know you're screwed. my thinking is this...
Monday can never feel like a Sunday or Saturday because one doesn't come in to the office on Saturday or Sunday. and if Monday ever feels like Tuesday or Wednesday, then you really know you're fucked. because it's going to be a long week.

but today is Monday. and it feels like a Monday to me. so irritating and just plain wrong.
it's one of those days where leaving the building at 5pm will feel like leaving school on the last day before summer. I'll zip open my bag while running to my car and let my laptop and all the papers and pens just flop to the ground as I make the 50 yard dash to my driver's seat and burn rubber out of the parking lot.
and then I'll come back in the morning. because I'm crazy like that.

what is it like to love one's job? do you have the same 'last day of school before summer' feeling when leaving your home to COME to work I wonder?


time's a changin'

there's been a lot of things changing recently for the world and for me.
Mrs. Clinton bowed out of the race for presidency. thousands of gay and lesbian couples are married. wall-e and eva fell in love. mud turned in to just dirt. and I? well, I have entered a new hair phase.
the bump is out. slick is in. actually, either slick or bouffant. but bouffant requires too many brushes as well as a bird and her babies to stick inside of it. thus I'm sticking with slicking.
hair phases are big deals because, it means time is changing. Friday night didn't just turn back in to Monday morning again... noooo it's much more drastic than that.... 2006 turned in to 2008. yikes. this is real business here.
one room's worth of crap turned in to 3 room's worth of crap. renting an apartment turned in to renting a house. dating a boy turned in to marrying a man. 4pm on a Friday turned in to 5pm on a Friday.
so, why am I still at work?
I need to leave. pull myself in to my skinny jeans, loopy earrings, and slick hair and go out and discuss Obama, new laws, Heath Ledger, the color of dirt, and the passing of time over some smooth fancy wine.


fighting karma

today, I am tired. tired of things, and just plain tired.
I participated in my first duathlon this past weekend and it was more difficult than I thought it would be. the feeling of finishing without stopping though, was a great one. I was pleased with myself despite the fact my friend, who hasn't run in weeks, beat me by several minutes. I have learned to not care about that. But I do care about one thing... and because this is my blog, I'm just going to say it.
Don't say you'll run with me, if you won't.

I might as well be on a roll here since, as stated previously, this is my blog.
something happened this past weekend that just makes me really, sad. it made me feel invisible when I didn't want to feel invisible. there are times when I prefer to be forgotten. when I don't want to be talked to. when I want to be left alone and when exerting a social persona is just not on my to-do list. but then there are times when being forgotten, especially by someone who should always remember you, is sad. and I don't mean sad as in .. pathetic. I mean sad as in, I suddently realized where I stood amongst things... and it was lower than I thought.
my head hangs low and my tail is between my legs. maybe this is karma.


muddy sticks and stones

so my last report was regarding my nutritional makeover...

and as I eat this wonderful orange sherbert truffle I think of all the fruits and vegetables and whole grains I've consumed this week. and it's ok. orange sherbert has SOME fruit in it anyway.

at this point though, I consider my nutritional makeover a success. I think I have done a good job in focusing more on zuchinis and tomatoes and bananas and apples than I had before (which was really, just a matter of exercising my innate ability to ignore them all together).

I have found though, that Spiderman and I have a lot in common. my new amazing vegetable and fruit eating ability has made me develop a dark side. an alter ego. a chocolate hourding maniac.
hey.. it's a work in progress.. give me time.

in other news, another race is done. I did the Muddy Buddy in San Jose with my husband last weekend. hard - as I suspected - but with delightful surprises mixed in... obstacles, funny costumes, giant rocks at the bottom of hills while riding the mountain bike, and scratchy pebbles at the bottom of the mud pit.

and after telling my husband over and over again that this race is supposed to be fun, he finally understood me, and it was.. well, fun. no urging me to hurry up, no 'why are you going so slow??' eyeball stare.. and without all that, things are so much more enjoyable.

my next race that I signed up for is coming up in just 3 days. (this is the last time I'm signing up for races that are in back to back weekends by the way)
it is a duathlon (do-a-thlawn) in Fremont and while I'm mentally and physically prepared for the road biking portion of it, I need to make sure running becomes a priority for me these last 2 days that I have to prepare for it. a 1.5 mile run, and a 2.5 mile run separated by an 11 mile bike ride sounds easy.. short and sweet. but my legs don't know what it feels like to run, bike, and then run again one right after the other.

let's hope that if anyone laughs at me during the duathlon, it's because of my rocket dog leisure shoes that I bike in instead of my speed. or lack thereof.


apples and carrots and vitamins oh my

my body needs a nutritional make-over.
last week I decided to take a nutrition 'test' of sorts that my hospital hosted for me online. they told me I need to eat more fruits and vegetables. luckily, the test did not cost me anything other than an hour of my life.... all to be told something my mom's been telling me for years.
eating vegetables is an easy thing for me as I love decorating my salads with color and variety. fruit, however, is like trying to get me to admit I'm wrong about something. I will not do it. unless an orange can be injected in to me through my skin, while I lay asleep, it just won't happen.
so I bought some apples with the hope that I would eat them while driving to work. a portable breakfast, that just happens to have loads of fiber and nutrition. and on 3 different days throughout the past week, I choked down an apple. woe is me.
my mom passed along some Weight Watcher information as well. this whole Point system has me wondering why people think it's so wonderful. I'm a competitive person and in MY book, the more points the better. more points means I am WINNING!!
this mentality does not work in Weight Watchers Point system which preaches that the lesser the amount of points the better. this is a game I don't want to play. I don't even want to watch it on TV, on a rainy day, when all the other channels are out due to lightening.
nonetheless, I have avoided the chocolate tray (major POINTs right there) in my neighbor's cube for the past hour (lunch time was a different story). I have been picturing those little shell-shaped chocolates and their praline butter fillings taped to my butt... I have also, in moments of desperation, sprayed my mouth with Listerine PocketMist in order to deter myself from throwing chocolate down the hatch. and here I sit, with no chocolated inhaled within the past 2 hours.
it's been a rough day. time to go buy some more apples.


late birds eat waffles

the month of May has delivered to me a wide array of emotions that leave me anxiously awaiting July. because June will be spent burying May's happenings deep in to my brain right behind my Nana but right before physic formulas.
and so, for the sake of an early burial, let's move along.

I will be partaking in a 5k tomorrow morning. I would say "another" 5k but the one last weekend was horribly, tragically miscalculated by individuals who did not pass basic mathematics. 5 kilometers is not equal to 2.68 miles. get it straight. I want $5.23 back.
tomorrow's race is in Los Gatos at Vasona which at first I thought "wonderful. its close proximity will lighten the burden of an early awakening that morning." I was wrong. it is the earliest race I have partaken in thus far. 8am.
calm your laughter. 8am translates to a 6:45am wake up time. which is very early for a bird who dislikes worms.

my legs have not pushed me through 3.1 miles in a couple of days but an unfamiliar feeling tells me I will be fine tomorrow. I have logged only a little over 5 running miles for this week with some time spent doing other exercises at the gym. but something tells me I'll be alright.

until next time.


Kathleen vs. the People

it has come to my attention that the 27 year old I have grown in to is either majorly narcissistic or strongly pessimistic. either way, I know I hate her.

every moment of the day, no matter how unimportant, is broken down in my mind by irritability levels. sleep included. it happens without me realizing it. an automatic reaction. a fight or flight uncontrollable motion. It just, happens.

please tell me I'm not the only one… who considers him/herself ‘bothered’ more times in a day than ones heart beats.
I would list the ‘botherings’ but it's all too embarrassing to reveal. the little things turn in to piles of record-breaking heights and the more months that seem to pass the stronger these my-head-is-going-to-explode and it's end-of-the-world feelings get. am I alone in this self-pity empty-well of a 'future'? for the sake of this being my blog, let us say yes. And this is why: because friends advise me on how to fix my ailments rather than relating to me. I should do THIS to fix THAT, and THAT to do THIS. can anyone just understand. just sit, and understand. Everyone providing me with solutions tells me I am the only person inept enough to not think of one myself.

my job doesn't seem to help the situation. knowing this desk and this view is what I will see every day until I get fired or decide to change it myself makes me exercise my snooze longer and longer each morning. nonetheless, I refuse to call that lady back from the massage therapist college admissions that I contacted the other day. apparently, I'm not one for voice.

And thus, it appears I have issues with people in general. anything having to do with them. Which is ironic because, I never want to be alone.

So, what’s the answer to THAT? I vote narcissistic.

what family doesn't hold hands


I'm going out of my mind

a cold has swung in my direction. and we are not friends. I have to admit, it has made me quite depressed to be sitting around blowing my nose and coughing all day within the same living room space for 3 days in a row. mornings are the worst and then it gets better throughout the day but then night comes and I have trouble sleeping. that just isn't fair.
I feel like I'm missing out on work gossip with my friends, as well as running mileage with my running group. and this has all made me really just plain angry. not to mention, I have a 5k in 3 days that is completely stressing me out.
the only thing I am somewhat happy about is the fact that I finally told my husband something that's been on my mind for almost 2 weeks now. I don't even care that he didn't agree with me on it, I was just finally happy to have it off my mind and on his.
now if only I can do that with everything.


hamburgers and road bikes

I know you must be dying to know about my two biggest weekend accomplishments.
1. ate lots of strawberries
2. test rode a road bike while wearing a tube top
I never eat strawberries because I never buy strawberries because I can never eat them fast enough. and I never wear a tube top let alone test ride expensive bicycles in them. I now know one looks very silly in a tube top and helmet. but I also know it may be a good idea to wear this same outfit (minus the husband) when I actually do buy the bike. possible discount involved.
riding a road bike wasn't as scarey as I thought it would be. after hearing my husband describe it as 'like riding on ice' I had high and uncomfortable expectations of the difficulty level required for this. I found wearing the helmet and knowingly ruining my already messy hair actually more difficult than cruising around on tires as narrow as my thumb.
my only problem now is the investment this sport requires. I left the shop with no bike (because buying something over $200 without shopping around is just dumb), but I did buy a helmet. imagine a tastey filet mignon with the most perfect cab sauv.. only in the shape of my head with holes and straps. that is how much the helmet cost.
I see this entire thing becoming overwhelmingly expensive and hamburgers in my future.


wardrobe check


so it made sense to celebrate #27 with it. lots of it. I met up with some friends to go to the local wine bar (*they had cheese too. BONUS!). but it was cold. really cold. and husband and I did not bring jackets. so husband decides he's had enough, and is going to my most favorite store to buy himself a jacket. "buy me something!!" I said. part joke but part serious. and I remain in my cold skin on my cold seat eating a hot dog with my hot friends.

he came back with a man jacket. and nothing else. at least he's true to his word.

SO, I set off today back to my most favorite store by myself. it's my birthday weekend dammit. and I planned all of my own birthday festivities. I deserve something to thank myself.

upon arriving at the ever-so-popular outdoor mall we here call Santana Row I proceeded to look for parking for over 25 minutes!!! every motorcycle parked in a normal space makes me yell an unkind word. I drove here for a purpose, and I'm not leaving without taking care of that purpose. after wandering through 4 separate parking lots, success. and it's a celebrity. nice.
after finally making it to my most favorite place, I start the hunt for a wardrobe addition. I hit the fitting room with 6 items. that's a good number. while minding my business removing things and adding things in my personal space of a change room, I hear a mom and her daughter enter. mom's giving daughter praise on the clothes they grabbed together. and while daughter is in the room changing in to her next item, mom says "see what you can do honey, when you have your own job! you can buy whatever you want!"

omg. I'm too old to shop here.



today I'm a little older. oh well.

I made a joke to some friends about sporting this really old shirt to work that I have had since I don't know when, but have never worn. well, I brought it to work. but didn't wear it. you see, what this shirt promotes, I usually find awkward. arms over, arms under, one under one over? tight squeeze, the pat, the rub, the light nice-to-meet-you-but-don't-know-you-well-enough-to-do-this-better, the drunk I'm-going-to-pick-you-up, the one arm. so many combinations. I have a hard time assigning which one fits which aquaintenance, friend, pal, bosom buddy.

so, since I'm so selective, I'd like to thank all of those who have remembered what day today is with this because frankly, you truly are 100% huggable:


the power of the cupcake

much to my butt's disapproval, I ran yesterday. you see, my trip to the gym with my running crowd gave me lots of time to work out my ass area. lots of squats, lunges, one-legged squats, etc. at the time, it didn't feel like much. I am used to squats with a bar and lots of weights and since I didn't have that for this gym trip, everything felt like a piece of cupcake.
I was wrong. and when we started our 3.3 mile run yesterday at Rancho, my butt told me how angry it was. I kept waiting for one side to snap, causing me to grasp that maximus and slow to a lying down pace... awaiting the hunter that shot me to come finish me off.
but I ended up finishing. which was a nice feeling at the time. until today. today the healing begins with multiple elevator trips instead of stairs followed by a drive straight home after work (no gym stop. no trail stop.), and a fresh cupcake. which I will be baking 24 of later. which will go straight to my ass. and make it feel better.


a do

a switch has been magically switched. and I'm not sure why or how.
my husband is out of town for work for 4 nights. my #27 is almost here and my 'plans' are proving to be pretty dumb. and I have no desire to push myself to do anything. none. not even to grin at passers by. it's too much effort.
they might get the wrong impression.
my brain tells me I must do something to change it up but, the second half of that statement requires a 'DO'. and I don't want to DO anything.
and so the world continues to turn.

mom and i


poop and exercise

big plans for the upcoming weekend. I'm preparing for it by working out as much as possible this week, and purchasing sleeping bag pad thingies.
I will be camping at Manresa State Beach with friends, husband, dog, and good wine (and / or beer - I am indecisive at this point). a sunburn is in my future and sand is in my shoes. already. it's from two weeks ago.
high hopes I have. and high hopes can bring nothing but disappointment in one way or another. maybe I'll get pooped on by a bird. or step in poop. or not poop. all 3 would be pretty crappy.
as for today, my running 'group' of 3 (or running 'crowd' I guess I should say) is going to stink up my apartment gym by way of sweat. as opposed to other methods. 'strained-muscle' friend needs to do activities that do not involve repetitive stomping on a surface so this seemed like a good alternative to get us all together to do something involving physical strain.
plus, it's nice to have a good sweat and then come home to a dog. makes me feel loved when he greets me like I'm a giant walking salt-lick. with my husband gone to Vegas for 4 nights, my dog licking off my inner-elbow sweat is as exciting as things get.


a little spring in my step

I have spent my weekend filling myself up with as much frozen yogurt as possible. not realizing I wouldn't shit for another week. oh well.

after running alone last week, I took a spinning class alone. I like doing things solo. but not when everything I do is solo. the next day I met up with my friends for a short run. a short run at 5pm right when spring is starting to get hot. ginormous buzzing bugs fly at your face and you do the limbo to avoid them. fresia permiates the air in a bad way. birds fly low while frolicking and I imagine their beaks stabbing my eyeball in some freakish running accident.
this was not going to be fun.

then, whilst getting over my 'running while hot' jitters, my friends tell me they want to run a half marathon.
now let me tell you how I felt in as many words as possible.
premature disappointment in myself.
on to page 2. mermaid 5k photos are now available!


like a polaroid picture

before jumping to other topics, I offer a follow up to yesterday's mental debate. husband was unavailable for an afternoon jaunt. so after hyping myself up to run alone, I realized I hadn't packed my socks. once I finished cussing myself out, and got over the deep disappointment (with some secret happiness somewhere), my friend offered her extra pair of socks for me to use.
3 + miles alone, while a personal feat, was not fun. revealing that I have more hurdles that I thought.
on to other, more exciting things.
a friend of mine has created a public playlist of some tunes online that I find myself visiting every day at approximately 3:42pm. people think I'm on the phone, so they leave me alone. unless they see me sit-dancing. then they know it's just headphones and I obviously don't care what anyone thinks of me. call me crazy but Electrolane deserves a good, solid, and committed head-bobble and air bass drum.
if this song existed, and was played at that one part-rave party I went to 5 years ago? I just might have tossed my inhibitions aside and climbed up on that kitchen counter to shake it like a polaroid picture (even if it does sound completely un-dance-able - I could still throw some moves together). instead, I now sit in my ergonomically incorrect chair and head-bobble my life away.
mid-life crisis, here I come.


talking out the miles

months ago, when I first told myself I wanted to be able to go for a run and enjoy myself rather than feel like I was suffering through some evil mind / lung game, I realized the first thing I needed were running friends.
people that could either suffer with me, or watch me suffer and push me along.
first customer? the husband.
the husband, at that time, was busy hibernating and avoiding all contact with sunlight. no matter how much I begged, it was not going to happen. Fall and Winter are evidently designated as couch-warming, beer-sipping months for the male that I selected to be my life partner. and Spring and Summer, albeit good running months, are for him to push himself and leave the slower-paced wifey in the dust.
second customer? coworker.
she eats yogurt, fruit, and trail mix every single day and avoids ALL sweets and sugars ALL the time. surely she can help me out. and she did. for 2 months. she did my first 5k with me and has been on injured reserve ever since. (me secretly thinks she is pregnant and is avoiding all sorts of impact exercises but she has not admitted to this as of yet)
third customer? previous coworker / hiking companion
sure, he wants to actually GAIN weight so running probably isn't the best thing for him but, he can never turn down a friend. so we run together for a couple months before pains in his leg force him to buy new fancy shoes. different pains arise before he finally heads to a doctor to find out his tendons didn't want him to run afterall. he is now slowly turning his running back on but tis going to be a slow process.
fourth customer? friend I spoke to while drunk at a party
she's a marathoner / constant runner that can go weeks without running and still spit out a solid handful of miles no problem. we run together every weekend, adding a mile every time until finally I do my first 10k with her and it was awesome (minus the chafing). I continued to plan early Saturday runs with her but then cancelled several in a row due to negligent Friday night alcohol consumption. sad, but true. I haven't planned another one yet for fear I would cancel again and feel even more horrible.
fifth and sixth customer? old high school friends
one that just had a baby and one that wants to get in to running for the first time. the 3 of us hit it off really well on the trails and visit them 3 sometimes 4 times a week. we ran a 5k together over at Shoreline and we all did really well. now one of them has pulled muscle groups and has been light on the running. the other is fine.. but this leads me to...
no one is available. the ones that aren't hurt are busy. and it's brought me to desperate measures. I have asked my husband to run with me.
last time we ran together, I did fine. he was not so fine. but he did it anyway. the time before THAT, he was pulling me along in the dead sun (which I am allergic to when it comes to exerting any sort of energy) before he said "come on! you HAVE to pass that old lady!" and so I stopped. time before that, I believe he used the word 'pathetic' when I struggled to run in the sun. my husband is not mean - he is a nice, loving, hilarious, and happy person. but he isn't the best at motivating or.. being available for someone else in a positive way. quite frankly, he intimidates the hell out of me.
the question is, which is more intimidating? running with him, or running solo.