Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain

yesterday, I felt very small. tiny. itsy bitsy. non-poisonous spider. unimportant.

while digesting this emotional surprise, my eyes began leaking and my face turned in to a giant hive. at 4pm. in the office.
(if I could punch my hormones in the face - if the face were not my own - I would)

I ran to the office-gym-treadmill to fix myself, brushing off my gym-rat buddies along the way.
"good! how are yo-"
"oh I have to blow my nose"
"no, 7 minutes abs isn't possib-" I turn the corner.

concentrating on physical pain will stop one from crying, right?

miles later, my run was done. I rushed back to the gym-rat buddies to apologize for my brashness but halfway through the sorry, my friend tells me a story.

4 weeks ago, he was driving on the freeway when a car on the OPPOSITE side crashed in to the cement divider. luckily the driver was ok. however, the impact of his car in to the divider sent a 2-foot long piece of that divider INTO my friend's windshield, while traveling the opposite direction.
it exploded glass in to his face and barely missed his body while landing in his back seat.
he showed me photos.
he almost died.

things have been properly placed back in to perspective now.

tears redacted.

in other news...
...while attempting to smack an incessant flying BUG, I swatted my own tit. *ouch.
...my boyfriend and my dog had their first alone time together while I was at a party this weekend. fortunately, NO ONE DIED. (but someone DID poop)


toss, turn, worry, and repeat.

the old hard-of-hearing guy shouted. I jumped at the unexpected volume.

the instructor of this Sleep Better class nodded in agreement.
she pleasantly laughed her open-mouth big-teeth Julia Louis-Drefus laugh.

25 supposed insomniacs - me included - sat in a circle staring across the room in to each other's sunken eyes, fidgeting at any discomfort, shaking our stress out in feet and finger tapping. the meditation practice helps my butt realize just how crappy this chair is, and instead of concentrating on my "ocean breath" I am staring at the velvet kitty-printed turtleneck the woman across from me is modeling.

I don't belong here. but I do.

the 70-year-old Bilbo Baggins in the room interrupts our "Negative Sleep Thoughts" brainstorming to ask WHAT CAN I DO TO FALL ASLEEP AFTER A VERY EXCITING NIGHT WITH MY WIFE?


at least the class is free.

in other news...
...dog beaches that are also nudist beaches result in naked people having lengthy (and close) conversations with me about how cute my dog is. thanks. and also, no thanks.
...my 7 aunts recently discussed the definition of 'teabagging'. loudly. while they were drunk. at a busy winery. (I will not be returning)
...#1 reason for Rome to learn how to use the toilet?