all those legs make them jump higher. and attack faster.

the moving is complete. boxes are emptied. new tv is on the way. we can sit down and enjoy the olympics without thinking of what the hell we're going to put in that extra closet. everything was honky doory. until I saw the biggest spider I have ever seen in person, crawling rampant, in my garage. good thing I have already done a ton of organizing in there because I will never go in the garage again until Nick shows me the carcass of this ginormous Lord of the Rings character that should be paying us rent money.
never again will my feet trek through there - even if I'm doing a sprint THROUGH the garage to pop out at the front yard. it is just not going to happen. Nick, of course, did not see it. the man who, when a mysterious noise sounds, he asks me "what was that?" while he remains seated. the husband who, upon being alarmed by me that there is a spider too large for me to comfortably kill without the threat of it possibly jumping on my skin, comes over and coos the spider in to his arms, and sets him free. right outside the door. so that he can step right back in whenever he so chooses. no - he did not see this creature. so of course, he is thinking I am exaggerating. but I swear, this fucker upon meeting my gaze, threw his cloak over his body and became invisible. how he got Frodo's cloak? I dare not ask. Frodo himself is probably hiding in our rafters signaling Spidey with secret baseball-like hand symbols.... "she is.. . desk room.. . go for.. . bunt. correction - right.. . cankle"
since running away from spidey and researching and writing my anxiety away, I think I may know what kind of spider it is. because google images makes us all professionals.

ok so that's not completely accurate. I am just trying to rid of any future nightmares by bringing humor to the table.

but here, in all his / her glory, is the true evil spidey (or at the least the closest google has to offer):

sweet dreams.

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