Bob Ross and me

my brain has accustomed itself to solitude. it only took my current lifetime. but I am finally ok with this.

what my brain is not accustomed to:
being put on the back burner. that's off. and very far away. on a different stove. in a different house. on another continent.
being put aside is for cold rice. not people.

in other news...
...the black widow living in our garage is D. E. A D. dead. she met my friend RAID who murdered her and her sad husband. for the sake of preventing swollen parts of human bodies, let's hope RAID killed any and all babies too.
...gardening gloves are necessary when trimming rose bushes.
...no matter how great one is at fantasy football, if you don't like it, it is just not fun (internet trophies are about as useful as a picture of a swiss army knife).
...one should not use the leg press machine with maximum weight, the calve machine, the butt blaster machine, and do single leg lunges prior to getting on the stepper.
...just because one cannot hear herself grunt due to a very loud iPod volume while working out, does not mean that no one else can hear her either.
...soy cheese on a pizza is just not as tastey as mozzarella cheese on a pizza.
...not maintaining a stylish do will not only put more money in your pocket, it will also make your head ugly.

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