11.21.2010

the life of the party

oh man. is Thanksgiving really in 3 days?
well - have you figured out what you're putting in that turkey cavity yet? I have. and it's not a duck. or a chicken.

my menu? why - I thought you would never ask!

Lucky Marta
was the one that got away... from Foster Farms and hitchhiked her way to the Organics farm - while eating nothing but hormone and antibiotic-free vegetarian food of course. At Organics, Lucky Marta was the life of the party; the pick of the litter; the sharpest tool in the shed - which is why she was picked for you to eat tonight. Gracias Marta.

Fruit of the Bean
is to casserole what Fruit of the Loom is to underwear - comfortably awesome. But this isn’t casserole - at least our guest chef doesn’t think it is. Good thing most of us have all our toes - because we’ll have to stay on them.

Sweet & Candied Papas
straight from Papa himself. For all you animal tendon lovers out there - you won’t find any in this recipe!

Cinnamon Sticks & Cranberry Stones
won’t hurt you - but all that butter will. So use this fresh cranberry and orange marmalade magical mixture instead.

The Mash
is not just a monster dance that was a graveyard smash. It’s also a bowl of potatoes flavored with some of the finest ingredients in the world that your chef traveled far and wide to collect (1.1 miles to Safeway).

Oven In
...a stuffing that wasn’t brought to you by Stove Top. Your chef spent nights in the dark basement pairing ingredients that wouldn’t blow your taste buds right off your face. Brace yourself.

Let’s Feta
...a creation brought to you buy a guest chef. Some lettuce, feta cheese, dressing, and then she danced it to the table for a stylistic toss. It’s Fet-ABulous!

Pump It Up-Kin Pie
Imagine a flying unicorn. So majestic... isn’t it? Ok now, forget that. Imagine a Pumpkin Pie. Now - pump it up. That’s what this is.


still don't know what I am making? ya me neither. but at least now I have a menu to throw on the table and distract everyone while I conjure up a mess of a buffet.

in other news...
...it's really cold outside. so cold, I have resorted to wearing my $2 slippers I got from Rite-Aid in Napa. ah... the warmest bargain ever.
...oooh running in the brisk rain.. how you bring back fresh cut green grass memories of soccer and mud and frozen fingers and dirt and gasping for air and breathing out fog. I love you.
...what's in YOUR zombie survival kit? yes - I said zombie survival kit. get with the times SON. the new apocalypse features the living dead. o_O

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