2.25.2014

pew pew

BUT IT'S ONLY 11am!!

my 12 year old cousin shouted at me as she found me eating a Thin Mint cookie from her pantry.

I AM 32, AND AWAKE. THOSE ARE THE ONLY REQUIREMENTS NECESSARY FOR COOKIE CONSUMPTION.

while my aunt and uncle drank their way through Carmel over the weekend, I 'teenage-sat' their 16 and 12 year old kids... ensuring no one lit their farts on fire or ate an entire bag of Lay's potato chips.

it was a pretty simple gig really. except when we all decided to go shopping, and I lost my car keys.

OH, I HAVE THEM. the 16 year old said.

WAIT, WHY DO YOU HAVE TH..... then I see his driving permit in his other hand.

enter first hot flash.
my hands and pits are instantly sweaty and my face flush. just yesterday I was wiping their butts (exaggeration), and now I am racking my brain over my car insurance policy and imagining all 3 of us dying because of my poor decision-making.

I quickly interviewed him on his experience.
HAVE YOU DRIVEN IN THE DARK? THE FREEWAY? SUICIDE LANES? TOP-HEAVY CARS? 4-WAY STOPS? WITH SUNGLASSES?

after hearing all the right answers, we were set to go. until the 12 year old thought of a question for me...

WAIT - ARE YOU OVER 25???

I could not have loved her more than I did at that second in my life. not bothering to answer her question, we headed to the store together.

and truthfully speaking - after being instructed to STOP dancing while driving - my cousin is pretty good!

in other news...
...in case you were wondering, the permit rule requires 1 licensed, over 25-years-of-age person be in the car.
...after giving me a hard time about a Thin Mint at 11am, my younger cousin proceeded to pour 3 tablespoons of syrup on her waffle. and then ate a donut. HMPH.
...an epic Nerf battle seemed to be the proper celebration for no *new dents on my car.



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