apples and carrots and vitamins oh my

my body needs a nutritional make-over.

last week I decided to take a nutrition 'test' of sorts that my hospital hosted for me online. they told me I need to eat more fruits and vegetables. luckily, the test did not cost me anything other than an hour of my life.... all to be told something my mom's been telling me for years.

eating vegetables is an easy thing for me as I love decorating my salads with color and variety. fruit, however, is like trying to get me to admit I'm wrong about something. I will not do it. unless an orange can be injected in to me through my skin, while I lay asleep, it just won't happen.

so I bought some apples with the hope that I would eat them while driving to work. a portable breakfast, that just happens to have loads of fiber and nutrition. and on 3 different days throughout the past week, I choked down an apple. woe is me.

my mom passed along some Weight Watcher information as well. this whole Point system has me wondering why people think it's so wonderful. I'm a competitive person and in MY book, the more points the better. more points means I am WINNING!!

this mentality does not work in Weight Watchers Point system which preaches that the lesser the amount of points the better. this is a game I don't want to play. I don't even want to watch it on TV, on a rainy day, when all the other channels are out due to lightening.

nonetheless, I have avoided the chocolate tray (major POINTs right there) in my neighbor's cube for the past hour (lunch time was a different story). I have been picturing those little shell-shaped chocolates and their praline butter fillings taped to my butt... I have also, in moments of desperation, sprayed my mouth with Listerine PocketMist in order to deter myself from throwing chocolate down the hatch. and here I sit, with no chocolated inhaled within the past 2 hours.

it's been a rough day. time to go buy some more apples.

late birds eat waffles

the month of May has delivered to me a wide array of emotions that leave me anxiously awaiting July. because June will be spent burying May's happenings deep in to my brain right behind my Nana but right before physic formulas.
and so, for the sake of an early burial, let's move along.

I will be partaking in a 5k tomorrow morning. I would say "another" 5k but the one last weekend was horribly, tragically miscalculated by individuals who did not pass basic mathematics. 5 kilometers is not equal to 2.68 miles. get it straight. I want $5.23 back.
tomorrow's race is in Los Gatos at Vasona which at first I thought "wonderful. its close proximity will lighten the burden of an early awakening that morning." I was wrong. it is the earliest race I have partaken in thus far. 8am.
calm your laughter. 8am translates to a 6:45am wake up time. which is very early for a bird who dislikes worms.

my legs have not pushed me through 3.1 miles in a couple of days but an unfamiliar feeling tells me I will be fine tomorrow. I have logged only a little over 5 running miles for this week with some time spent doing other exercises at the gym. but something tells me I'll be alright.

until next time.

Kathleen vs. the People

it has come to my attention that the 27 year old I have grown in to is either majorly narcissistic or strongly pessimistic. either way, I know I hate her.

every moment of the day, no matter how unimportant, is broken down in my mind by irritability levels. sleep included. it happens without me realizing it. an automatic reaction. a fight or flight uncontrollable motion. It just, happens.

please tell me I'm not the only one… who considers him/herself ‘bothered’ more times in a day than ones heart beats.
I would list the ‘botherings’ but it's all too embarrassing to reveal. the little things turn in to piles of record-breaking heights and the more months that seem to pass the stronger these my-head-is-going-to-explode and it's end-of-the-world feelings get. am I alone in this self-pity empty-well of a 'future'? for the sake of this being my blog, let us say yes. And this is why: because friends advise me on how to fix my ailments rather than relating to me. I should do THIS to fix THAT, and THAT to do THIS. can anyone just understand. just sit, and understand. Everyone providing me with solutions tells me I am the only person inept enough to not think of one myself.

my job doesn't seem to help the situation. knowing this desk and this view is what I will see every day until I get fired or decide to change it myself makes me exercise my snooze longer and longer each morning. nonetheless, I refuse to call that lady back from the massage therapist college admissions that I contacted the other day. apparently, I'm not one for voice.

And thus, it appears I have issues with people in general. anything having to do with them. Which is ironic because, I never want to be alone.

So, what’s the answer to THAT? I vote narcissistic.

I'm going out of my mind

a cold has swung in my direction. and we are not friends. I have to admit, it has made me quite depressed to be sitting around blowing my nose and coughing all day within the same living room space for 3 days in a row. mornings are the worst and then it gets better throughout the day but then night comes and I have trouble sleeping. that just isn't fair.

I feel like I'm missing out on work gossip with my friends, as well as running mileage with my running group. and this has all made me really just plain angry. not to mention, I have a 5k in 3 days that is completely stressing me out.

the only thing I am somewhat happy about is the fact that I finally told my husband something that's been on my mind for almost 2 weeks now. I don't even care that he didn't agree with me on it, I was just finally happy to have it off my mind and on his.

now if only I can do that with everything.