chocolate is for snacking

the weekend went by like a gasp of emergency air. so much, in such little time.

I have been on a mission at home that my weekend festivities played havoc with. In an effort to walk up and down stairs less, I will eat as much food as possible. how does this work? we're moving. the massive adventure begins Sunday morning and I refuse to transport bags of food in addition to the buttload of boxes that will be packed and ready to go by then. food is meant to be eaten. not moved.

and thus, I will finally finish off those boxes of frozen EATING RIGHT healthy waffles for breakfast; cans of EATING RIGHT healthy soups; bag of frozen vegetables that's been waiting for me for who knows how long. hm. I am starting to see a theme here.

maybe I should only purchase ice cream and chocolate. I always seem to go right through those.

speaking of chocolate, every coworker of mine has run out of it in their sharing bowls. and the one girl that has some, keeps the bowl in an unreachable spot. this banana I brought is looking tastier and tastier simply for the sheer enjoyment of eating something at this point. damn these afternoon munchies.

popping pills

my mom told me this afternoon "oh by the way, your dad threw up on the golf course yesterday and went to the doctor this morning".

ok. well can you give me more information than that?

my dad is a big hefty guy. he is at least 6'3 and weighs probably about 285 right now. he was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes 13 years ago. he is 54 years old. his dad passed away at a young age (somewhere in his 50's) and he also had diabetes, and was overweight. he had a heart attack in his sleep.

and all of that information runs through my head every time I hear about my dad having a new problem.

lately I have noticed that his medicine cabinet is accumulating pills. he's got pills for high blood pressure. pills for back pain. pills for his diabetes. pills for crap I don't even know about because my parents don't tell me. it turns out he up-chucked yesterday because of the vicodin he took for his back pain that morning..... which is caused by the extra weight which also brought on the diabetes and the high blood pressure. so now he has oxycodone for his back pain which is supposedly a super-duper killer of pain. and about a year and a half ago he stepped on a nail but didn't feel it because his feet are numb and his foot has still not fully healed from that.

what's next???

renting roots

in two weeks I will have new walls. new floors. new ceiling. new seat to pee in to.

my husband and I are finally renting a house. apartment life will officially end for us on August 8th. and I cannot wait to make a dozen fresh cookies for my neighbor. cool an apple pie on the window sill. plant a garden outside my kitchen window. hang a tennis ball from the garage ceiling.

the only communication I have experienced in my years of apartment living have been walking to the neighbors' place at 2am to tell them to turn their TV down. going downstairs to tell the chinese lady she doesn't need to scream at her son that loud as it is disturbing in both a noise level and psychotic way. and sneaking up to our neighbors above us to see if they really do have pet elephants.

my hopes are high for the 'house' people.

why hello there stranger.

any day but today

tis Monday.
sometimes a Wednesday may feel like a Tuesday. or a Friday may seem like a Thursday. but if Monday ever feels like any other day, you know you're screwed. my thinking is this...
Monday can never feel like a Sunday or Saturday because one doesn't come in to the office on Saturday or Sunday. and if Monday ever feels like Tuesday or Wednesday, then you really know you're fucked. because it's going to be a long week.

but today is Monday. and it feels like a Monday to me. so irritating and just plain wrong.
it's one of those days where leaving the building at 5pm will feel like leaving school on the last day before summer. I'll zip open my bag while running to my car and let my laptop and all the papers and pens just flop to the ground as I make the 50 yard dash to my driver's seat and burn rubber out of the parking lot.
and then I'll come back in the morning. because I'm crazy like that.

what is it like to love one's job? do you have the same 'last day of school before summer' feeling when leaving your home to COME to work I wonder?

time's a changin'

there's been a lot of things changing recently for the world and for me.

Mrs. Clinton bowed out of the race for presidency. thousands of gay and lesbian couples are married. wall-e and eva fell in love. mud turned in to just dirt. and I? well, I have entered a new hair phase.

the bump is out. slick is in. actually, either slick or bouffant. but bouffant requires too many brushes as well as a bird and her babies to stick inside of it. thus I'm sticking with slicking.

hair phases are big deals because, it means time is changing. Friday night didn't just turn back in to Monday morning again... noooo it's much more drastic than that.... 2006 turned in to 2008. yikes. this is real business here.

one room's worth of crap turned in to 3 room's worth of crap. renting an apartment turned in to renting a house. dating a boy turned in to marrying a man. 4pm on a Friday turned in to 5pm on a Friday.

so, why am I still at work?

I need to leave. pull myself in to my skinny jeans, loopy earrings, and slick hair and go out and discuss Obama, new laws, Heath Ledger, the color of dirt, and the passing of time over some smooth fancy wine.

cheers.

fighting karma

today, I am tired. tired of things, and just plain tired.
I participated in my first duathlon this past weekend and it was more difficult than I thought it would be. the feeling of finishing without stopping though, was a great one. I was pleased with myself despite the fact my friend, who hasn't run in weeks, beat me by several minutes. I have learned to not care about that. But I do care about one thing... and because this is my blog, I'm just going to say it.
Don't say you'll run with me, if you won't.

I might as well be on a roll here since, as stated previously, this is my blog.
something happened this past weekend that just makes me really, sad. it made me feel invisible when I didn't want to feel invisible. there are times when I prefer to be forgotten. when I don't want to be talked to. when I want to be left alone and when exerting a social persona is just not on my to-do list. but then there are times when being forgotten, especially by someone who should always remember you, is sad. and I don't mean sad as in .. pathetic. I mean sad as in, I suddently realized where I stood amongst things... and it was lower than I thought.
my head hangs low and my tail is between my legs. maybe this is karma.

muddy sticks and stones

so my last report was regarding my nutritional makeover...

and as I eat this wonderful orange sherbert truffle I think of all the fruits and vegetables and whole grains I've consumed this week. and it's ok. orange sherbert has SOME fruit in it anyway.

at this point though, I consider my nutritional makeover a success. I think I have done a good job in focusing more on zuchinis and tomatoes and bananas and apples than I had before (which was really, just a matter of exercising my innate ability to ignore them all together).

I have found though, that Spiderman and I have a lot in common. my new amazing vegetable and fruit eating ability has made me develop a dark side. an alter ego. a chocolate hourding maniac.
hey.. it's a work in progress.. give me time.

in other news, another race is done. I did the Muddy Buddy in San Jose with my husband last weekend. hard - as I suspected - but with delightful surprises mixed in... obstacles, funny costumes, giant rocks at the bottom of hills while riding the mountain bike, and scratchy pebbles at the bottom of the mud pit.

and after telling my husband over and over again that this race is supposed to be fun, he finally understood me, and it was.. well, fun. no urging me to hurry up, no 'why are you going so slow??' eyeball stare.. and without all that, things are so much more enjoyable.

my next race that I signed up for is coming up in just 3 days. (this is the last time I'm signing up for races that are in back to back weekends by the way)
it is a duathlon (do-a-thlawn) in Fremont and while I'm mentally and physically prepared for the road biking portion of it, I need to make sure running becomes a priority for me these last 2 days that I have to prepare for it. a 1.5 mile run, and a 2.5 mile run separated by an 11 mile bike ride sounds easy.. short and sweet. but my legs don't know what it feels like to run, bike, and then run again one right after the other.

let's hope that if anyone laughs at me during the duathlon, it's because of my rocket dog leisure shoes that I bike in instead of my speed. or lack thereof.