1.04.2008

the adventures of grocery shopping

I stepped in to Safeway yesterday drenched from the rain and feeling like a soggy cat being placed on the counter at the vet hospital. my running struggles need to be fixed at my food and liquid intake level. and that starts here, at Safeway. They should pay me for this.

I began with an ambitious list of vegetables and fish and chicken. I left with one bell pepper and frozen chicken boobs. let me explain.

this store had nothing. shelves were bare or decorated with too young or too old fruits and vegetables. the few sections that had at least 2 of one thing were crowded with people ready to leave me crumbs as I turned the corner. my quest for a healthy lifestyle was slowly being diminished by hungry greedy little scavengers hunched over the remaining Progresso's. I imagined Safeway with the lights off and turning the corner to shine a flashlight on these people - revealing their true selves. vampires feeding in selfish frenzies.

I wanted to get away from these people. I had a pattern happening with the blood-sucking Progresso couple where we passed each other mid-aisle, in EVERY aisle. should I ask them how their evening is in aisle 3? aisle 4: how's your mom? aisle 5: I heard about your sister - tell her it isn't contagious but she shouldn't have sex until she sees a doctor.

I skipped an aisle with all intentions of revisiting it in order to break up the relationship. it's not you, it's me. my healthy lifestyle was not going to succeed with an audience watching me debate between whole wheat angel hair and light cheese ravioli.

after my yogurt flavor debate, time to save myself and get the hell out. pay, drive, park, haul all of the groceries up 3 flights of stairs by myself (applause here is welcomed), stock kitchen, eat, sleep, wake up and discover the power is out.

if I come home to find warm organic yogurt and thawed out frozen chicken, I'm sending my husband to the grocery store alone to buy everything again plus a chocolate bar.
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