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I have reached a new low.

you see, it is bad enough to have a flakey friend. it is worse when that flakey friend is yourself.

I have gone too long without any sort of physical exertion beyond lifting a beer bottle and scratching my dog. I told myself 3 days ago the same thing I told myself 2 days ago: "I am going to get out there today. just me, my iPod, and everyone else I don't know."

and I didn't. this makes me think of all those other times I told myself I would do something and ended up failing myself miserably. but we're not going to get in to that. not here. not now. not when I have stabbed my own back and have yet to recover.

after getting very angry at myself yesterday for this exercise massacre, I made my partner get me out there and moving. how does one do this? you never, ever, tell your partner you don't want to run today. because if you do, and if they coincide - time to find a new partner (and if they don't coincide, you have made public your weakness). and that is not fun. so I never let down my guard and tell him / her I don't feel like it today.

of course, it does help that I cannot talk while I run anyway - muttering the words "I need to stop" is hard for two reason: 1. I'm lying to myself and 2. I physically cannot talk - I'm too busy breathing.

so we met up yesterday and hit the trail. me wearing my hand-me-down running tights that I really think are see-through but no one agrees with me. one really feels their leg fat bounce with they are wearing tights and nothing else. if it weren't for me hitting the trail right before they close, I'm sure I would get passed by many people trying to rid themselves of the site.

but nonetheless I J-E-L-L-O'ed myself through 30 painful minutes. realizing at my finish line that it's been so long I've even forgotten how to use my watch timer. I accidentally stopped it at my turning point. shmuck.

during our cool-down walk back to the car, I finally came up with a 2008 resolution. you are what you eat - and I did not just run for 30 minutes. vodka, belgium beer, and bagel bites just did. this needs to change.