what and why

put your hands up in the ayyaar. wave them like you don't caayyyaarre.

ok now smack yourself in the face and get back to work. how dare you waste precious work time doing such shenanigans.

work has been... rough these past couple of months. my brain has been pulled here and there and up and down and this and that and what and why. the work week has been redefined. it now includes long lunches to make up for the late nights as well as a weekly happy hour.

had I known - 3 months ago - that life would be like this right now I probably would not have signed up for back-to-back weekend races. luckily, my legs are as delusional as my mind and allowed me to successfully complete my 2nd duathlon last weekend. the 30 mile Tour de Cure road bike ride that is happening in 3 days however may have a different ending.

at least I raised money for a good cause.

in other news...

...being surrounded by a city of vacant cubicles provides me with ample air space to paint my nails at work

...being surrounded by a city of vacant cubicles is.. sad

...office pranks are the best - and my company's Standards of Business Conduct agrees with me

...is being told I am a Richard-Simmons kind of weird a good thing? HECK YES.

how to...

and time passes...

and I know you must be wondering.. why is the word 'colon' both a body part and a punctuation?

well, that I do not know - BUT, for those wondering what Kathleen has been doing for all these months... you are in luck. I have been learning.

learning how to:

* properly balance a pillow over my ear so that I cannot hear my bed partner snore

* disguise my stink after a 2 hour workout so that I can return to my office minus dirty stares

* prank my coworkers

* dress

* avoid last place in go karting challenges

* snooze an alarm. 8 times in a row

* defy death

* dance in the car while driving in cruise control

* draw dinosaurs

* consume ginormous amounts of caffeine while maintaining a consistent heart rate

* deal with rejection

* day drink

* drunk speed walk

* make long lists of words beginning with the letter 'd'

time to update my resume with all of my new qualifications.

during my blog 'time off' I ALSO had the awesomest pleasure of taking some engagment photos for a close friend of mine. small sneak peek included.

in other news...

...when wearing see-through shorts, be sure to wear bright - and preferrably patterned - underwear

...I am pretty good at making the most annoying sound in the world. unfortunately.

...my dog barking at the sprinklers every other night at 2am has a direct correlation to the speed in which my sleeping pill container empties.

...Romeo, you owe me 30 bucks.

dusty jay pegs

my email accounts have blown up with messages that I do not have time to sort through, I haven’t actually cooked something to eat in I don’t know how long, my DVR is full of episodes of so many shows that I don’t even know what is actually ON anymore, and where are my gym shorts? probably under the bed. I’ll find them next month.

so I took some time this evening to organize my emails – and I ended up finding some unique and obscure photos that had been sent to me within just the past couple of weeks. take a gander. I find it somewhat amusing – maybe you will too. and if you do not? I do not apologize – it just would not be the Cobra Commander way.

In other news…
…I never realized how crucial the sun is in my life. my cousins recently asked me if I changed my last name to Cullen.
…where are all the padded bicycle seats? my parts need one desperately.
…no more Peeps for a whole year? I guess I will just have to start dipping my own marshmallows in to sugar then. hm.
…a friendly pat to anyone who can guess which photos were taken with an iPhone and which were taken with a BlackBerry.

it's the Queen's knees

if you're going to India put your hands UP.
if you got a hematoma put your hands UP.
if you're jumping out of a plane put your hands UP.
if you're knees always hurt put your... thumbs down.

needless to say, my hands are up and my thumbs are down. I will be taking a work and photo excursion to India in June; indoor soccer has made it back on to my activity list; skydiving will finally happen; age is conquering me; another trip to Napa is in order; my first sleepover in Alameda will be for my 2nd duathlon race; 30 miles of roads in Palo Alto will be met by my bicycle tires - and hopefully not my FACE; Europe will become a memory instead of just roads and buildings I see in movies; Pink Umbrella Productions is expanding to music videos; and my photography business is hitting its first official 'season'.

life is moving along and what can I do in the meantime? drink coffee, sweat it out, attend happy hour, and breathe.

in other news...
...taking showers and pumping gas are still on my WASTEFUL THINGS TO DO list.
...sometimes things that I love, should be free.
...sometimes things that I hate, should be really expensive. just to make me feel better about myself.
...sometimes one should just build a miniature lego castle and reside in it for the afternoon. even if the toy store tries to kick you out. they have no right. you're taking the lego castle for a test battle. with a test moat. and a test dragon. where's my sword? someone find me my sword. I deem myself Queen of the Latifah's. call me Queeny Perv. go fetch the Queen! oh wait - here I am.
...photo courtesy of Admiral Audie. who is the only person insisting on calling me Snookie. seriously Admiral, it is in no way accurate - you should just stick to Perv.

Dearest LauraJean,

in the interest of addressing some questions one of my many, several million beloved fans has asked of me, I am revisiting a few references from my 02.08.2010 post.
(plus, answering questions inflates my ego. and we all know it's big. but I am shooting for ginormous)
(TWSS)*

so, where exactly was I headed with some of my doodles I found worthy of jotting down in to the ee cummings style notepad-to-go?

BUTTONS BUSTING
friends take other friends out to Santana Row in San Jose for the first time and inform them to dress up so we can pretend we are rich and can afford all the cashmere pillows and silk tube tops the ritzy stores want to keep on our couches and in our closets. upon arriving and taking our first few catwalk-im-too-sexy-and-rich steps down the row, a button falls off from one of our jackets and we all stop and stare as it sadly rolls in circles until stopping on the expensive cement in front of Coach.

SOCKS IN POCKET
derived from same story and location as above. while sauntering around in our normal rich fashion, a friend discovers a pair of socks in her jacket pocket. 2 things: oops. and, why?

in other news...
...never eat anything the size of your face
...does dreaming about exercise COUNT as exercise?
...10k race in 39 hours.

*TWSS = Thats What She Said

feats and defeats

what have youuuuu done in the past 4 weeks? making history books I'm sure.
let me tell you what my busy body has accomplished since my last post.

end of thought.

it all started out so full of hope.
my trek in to the Japanese stationary store resulted in an ee cummings-inspired notepad (but with high-tech spring-loaded flap that I am positive did not exist in his time). I proclaimed....
(please think in God-like - or MLK - voice:)

This will be...
the beginning of a new age.
With spring-loaded notepad in hand
I will write laws
name mountains (without having to climb them first)
be knighted
meet the Queen
give the Quen a successful makeover
climb scarey-big beanstalks
confront the last living Tyronnosaurus Rex
teach her how to sit, roll over, and heel
and soar on eagle's wings (me, not the dinosaur).


but then I forgot my notepad at a friend's house for a week.
sails without wind digress.

therefore, let me simply share my intentions for you to judge.
they are vague. they are scribbly. they make me feel deceivingly famous.

where is my paparazzi?

in other news...
...want to know where I was going with any of these? comment and I will reply. maybe.
...think you got a shout-out in some of my notes? call it correctly and earn a low-five!
...without tangent thoughts, nothing would get
...who dat!

making it good

there are very few things that make me stop moving. stop breathing. stop thinking.
.. earthquakes.
.. and hummingbirds.

I prefer the hummingbirds. since the chance of death is much lower.

the last (1, 2..) three times I have seen these flying instruments, it has been < dramatic pause > sort of surreal. I have the tendency to move A to Z in life with focus and large blindspots. so when I say I see hummingbirds... truthfully..?.. they see me.

they zip in to my line of sight and freeze where I stare. like they were just flying along, minding their own business when all of a sudden
<<... GASP! ITS A KATHLEEN! WOW. COOL. LET ME STARE AT HER FOR A LITTLE WHILE BEFORE I MOVE ALONG ...>>>

to me - it almost feels like a sort of 'last breath' experience. this is it - make it good.

in other news...
...alka seltzer used to taste better. at least, I think it did.
...there was a crow convention in front of my house at 4pm. I never want to see that again.
...I think I have a new addiction.